Since becoming a parent I’ve found myself say all sorts of things I never thought I would. Most recently we were out for lunch and I found myself saying, “please don’t post your chicken through the table”. I thought to myself, how bizarre that would sound out of context?!

A friend of mine told me the other week that she’s had to say, on more than one occasion, “stop biting your brother’s bottom”.

So, I asked some other bloggers (check out their links!) to share some of their, ‘I can’t believe I just said that’ quotes. Have a read of these corkers…

Our poor pets… only this weekend I had to tell our little guy that, “no, you can’t ride the dog like a horse.”

“Stop trying to lick the dogs bum!” 😯😔
Stacey @ Stacey in the Sticks

“Stop trying to put the spatula up the cats bottom” is a recent one 😂
Georgina @ Gee Gardner

“Stop licking my pants! Don’t lick the floor, stop licking the cat…” she has a licking issue
Amy @ Amy Mighalls

They find their willies fascinating don’t they…

“Don’t put your willy though the stairgate” 😑
Emma @ Ready, Freddie, go!

 “Do not put your willy on your baby sister’s head!” – it’s generally always connected to willies!!
Elaine @ Entertaining Elliot

“Leave your brother’s willy alone”, I have two girls who find their baby brother’s bits fascinating
Rachel @ MummaHub

We’ve all been here. Whatever we need to do to get the task at hand done…

“You clean the Octopus’ bottom and I’ll clean your teeth.”
All things spliced – Nicola also has a whole series of quotes going on her blog!

My most recent was, “ok the man can have some milk too” as I set up a Duplo man with his own tiny cup of milk at breakfast time.

Lettuce
This photo cracked me up!

 “Please stop trying to throw the lettuce in the fire again, if its switched on then we’ll all blow up” (because lettuce is highly explosive… 😕😂)
Simone @ Married To A Geek

Kids are gross…

“Please don’t suck your sweaty socks!!”
Clare @ Neon Rainbow Blog

I had to use the line this evening of “stop sniffing your sisters bum”
(They were pretending to be dogs 😂🙈)
Beth Law @ Twinderelmo

“Bethie stop playing with the toilet”
Cheryl @ Mummy of 5 Miracles

“Please don’t wee in the fire truck…”
Abi @ Something About Baby

“Is that poo on the floor? Have you tasted it?”
Cat @ Rock and Roll  Pussycat

To my 3-year-old. “Stop telling everybody you’re having a crap for lunch. It’s called a Crêpe”. That went on for almost 6 months!
Pete @ Household Money Saving

…and weird

For the last time, stop rolling that sausage on the floor in your socks!”
Louise @ Pink Pear Bear

I can imagine these all being said in quick succession…

“Stop licking the fence. Poo isn’t playdough. Stop eating paper. Don’t eat stones, they’re not food. Get out of the washing machine.”
Pip @ Pip Milburn

At first we try and give gentle guidance, make suggestions but then, let’s be honest, it’s better to just say it how it is…

“you’re not doing it the way I do it.” Generally, I told it to my husband )
Elizabeth @ The Homemakers Journal

As parents I feel that we can take some solace in the fact that so many of these are so similar. I have said, or at least can imagine saying, most of them!

What are your ‘did I really just say that out loud?’ quotes? I’d love to hear them!


7 Comments

superwifeandmummy · August 21, 2017 at 9:22 pm

Omg, stop! Top funny…😂

Cat Williams · August 21, 2017 at 11:17 pm

What a fab post! It’s made me chuckle.
Thanks for including me

Cat x

RainbowsR2Beautiful (@rainbowsaretoo) · August 22, 2017 at 1:17 pm

It’s scary how many of these I have said. :-/ Still funny to read it out loud though #dreamteam

Sarah mud cakes and wine · August 22, 2017 at 2:38 pm

Hahaha very good and so true I have said way too many of those and countless others I wilsh I could remember #dreamteam

RawMum · August 22, 2017 at 9:20 pm

🤣🤣🤣 totally in stitches! Thanks for the giggle #dreamteam

Jade @ Captured By Jade · August 23, 2017 at 9:21 pm

Kids do the funniest things translates to parents say the weirdest things! #DreamTeam

Rhyming with Wine · August 24, 2017 at 5:09 pm

Oh these are hilarious! The one that really sticks in my mind is “have you your turtle?”. Only a parent would say these things without flinching! Thanks for linking to #DreamTeam x

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